


give em here, give em here

by extremelyquestionable (TechnicalTragedy)



Category: The Derp Crew (Youtube RPF)
Genre: Christmas, Friendship/Love, Love Confessions, M/M, RoyalChaos, Ugly Holiday Sweaters, ZeRoyalChaos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-01
Updated: 2014-12-01
Packaged: 2018-02-27 16:12:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2699231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TechnicalTragedy/pseuds/extremelyquestionable
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five times Ze and Chilled said “I love you” and one time they didn’t have to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	give em here, give em here

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by and loosely based on Watsky's [Sloppy Seconds](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7gNJ5cQGZJQ)

+1

Chilled stared at the door, dreading the moment Ze would come outside. The pizza in his hand was cold, and it didn’t settle well in his stomach. All of that was background, though. What really mattered was the battered-but-ever-reliable car he was sitting on, and the opening front door.

Steven stepped outside, holding a suitcase where there should have been a slice of shitty pizza. His eyes drifted to Anthony, a sad smile tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Just because you’re sitting on my car doesn’t mean you’re preventing me from going anywhere," Steven said after a moment. "Unless you’re reconsidering coming with me?"

Anthony sighed, and the hand holding his pizza drooped, falling against his thigh. “You know I can’t.”

Steven sighed back at him. “Yeah.” He approached Chilled, standing just next his parted, dangling legs. “I’ll be back,” he said quietly, taking his best friend’s wrist and lifting it so he could take a bite of the pizza, careful to just use his teeth so he didn’t slobber all over it.

Anthony watched him, amused but with an ache in his chest. He stared at the scar on Steven’s forearm, and wondered if the car really was as reliable as he’d been assured it was. “You always come back. Keep it that way.” After a moment, he added, “Please.”

Ze chuckled, squeezing Chilled’s wrist reassuringly. “I’ll come back because I love you, buddy,” he said quietly, hoping that would assuage Anthony’s worries.

And for right then, it did.

 

+2

A week after Anthony stood in the same spot for hours after watching Steven drive away, he finally got a call from his best friend.

"Hey, Chilly Willy," Ze greeted him, and Chilled smiled, feeling relief wash over him.

"Hey, Stevie," Anthony said. "You back home?"

"I wouldn’t really call it home, but yeah, I made it back safe. Were you worried I wouldn’t?" Ze asked teasingly.

"I’m always worried that you won’t," Chilled answered seriously, and then wondered if that was revealing too much.

There was a long moment of silence, before Ze said, “I won’t let that happen again, Anthony.”

Anthony huffed, hating how easily Steven recognized exactly what scared him, and began to toy absently with the hem of the sweater he’d gotten years ago and somehow miraculously still fit. “Please.”

"I promise. I know, um, I know how much that scared you. Wasn’t fun for me, either," Steven told him, forcing out an airy facsimile of a laugh.

Chilled, knowing that this was too deep, too real, backed out a bit. “It’s just because I love you, buddy. I mean, if you weren’t around I’d have to do so much co-op with Smarty, and can you imagine that?”

Ze chuckled, and the heavy mood dissipated as they moved onto other subjects.

 

+3

About a month later, Anthony called Steven, and the younger boy sounded absolutely exhausted.

"Hey, Chilled," Ze said on the tail end of a yawn as he picked up.

"Steven? You just wake up?" Anthony asked, lounging back in his chair.

Steven yawned again. “Nah, haven’t slept yet.”

Anthony frowned. “You should probably do that, buddy. Sleep is kinda necessary.”

"Eh," Ze said passively. "It’s cool. Just can’t get to sleep right now."

Chilled sighed. “Insomnia’s the worst.”

Steven made a noise of agreement. “Yeah, it is. Hey, Chilly Willy, could you sing me a lullaby?”

Anthony snorted. “Yeah, sure.” He cleared his throat. “Ahem. Ze, go the fuck to sleep, buddy. You need your beauty sleep, baby. So get some goddamn rest.”

Ze applauded. “Amazing. Utterly amazing. Did you call me baby? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. That was exactly what I needed, but I’m probably going to have nightmares now.”

"Asshole," Chilled said with no real heat behind the words. "But really, try to get some sleep, okay? I want you all rested up when you come visit in, uh, when are you planning on coming to visit again?"

"I know, I know. I need to come see you. I’ll see if I can get away in time to come see you for Christmas, alright? I’ll be your present this year," Steven chuckled.

"Aw, really? You just had to reference the incest commercial," Anthony complained.

Ze laughed outright. “Of course, Chilly Willy! I love you as much as those two love each other.”

Chilled swallowed, and made himself laugh. “Yeah, alright.” There was a long pause, before he spoke again, “She left me last week.”

Steven sighed. “Shit. I’m sorry, man.”

Anthony shrugged, and briefly wondered if he should tell Ze why she left him. “Yeah. So, uh, it would suck to spend the holidays alone, right? So try to get away, if you can. Please.”

"Of course. I’ll try my hardest to be there. But if I can’t…" Ze let the sentence trail off.

"I’ll understand," Chilled said, and there was another pause that seemed to stretch across the entire distance between them, full of the certain kind of silence where almost-words seemed clear. I’ll understand, but I’ll be disappointed. I’ll miss you. Please don’t make me spend Christmas alone.

"I’ll try," Steven insisted, and a yawn followed it closely.

Anthony smiled. “Get some sleep, idiot,” he said quietly. “I love you as much as that family loves each other, too. Get some sleep so we can have incest Christmas.”

There was a shifting sound which Chilled assumed meant Ze was nodding. “Alright, I’ll try to sleep. Just for you. Talk to you later, Chilly Willy.”

Then, there was nothing but the quiet in which both of them wondered if the other was being serious.

 

+4

Two weeks before Christmas, on a day when Anthony was busy putting up all kinds of decorations and wearing an embarrassing reindeer sweater, Steven called again.

"Hello, Steven!" Chilled sang as he picked up, grinning from ear to ear. This was his favorite time of year, and he was in a great mood because of it.

"Hey, Anthony," Ze said, sounding much more subdued. "You sound like you’re having a good day."

Anthony’s smile grew. “I’m having a great day, buddy. How’s your day been?”

"Been driving all day," Steven told him tiredly, "I’m probably going to get to your place in a few days, a week at most."

"Your room is always set up, so you’re welcome at any time," Chilled reminded him, wondering if he should start putting the ornaments on the tree or if Steven would want to help. Then a thought occurred to him. "Wait, you’re not calling me while you’re driving, are you?" he asked, worry creeping into his voice.

Ze chuckled. “No, no, I learned my lesson with getting distracted while I’m driving. I’m actually in a store right now.”

"Are you buying my Christmas present?" Anthony asked sweetly, deciding to put off decorating the tree until Ze showed up.

"Wouldn’t you like to know?" Steven replied cheekily, followed by, "Shit, I think I just broke Jesus."

"Buddy, you can’t do that," Chilled complained. "It’s nearly his birthday."

"I’ve gotta get out of here before they catch me. I probably look really suspicious. Oh god his arm won’t go back on. I’ve gotta- Shit!" There was a moment where all Anthony could hear was rustling and then Ze’s muffled voice, before he was back on the line, "They didn’t catch me, but I did just steal the arm of Jesus."

"You’re going to hell, buddy. How’s he gonna perform miracles without his arm? Stealing the arm of Jesus is a serious offense, and you’re going to hell for it," Anthony said seriously, and then they both lost their shit.

They laughed for nearly five minutes straight, and when they finally calmed down the silence was way too stifling.

"If I go to hell, I’m dragging you with me," Steven said, faux-serious and trying to lighten to weird tension that had suddenly spawned between them.

Chilled chuckled. “Love you too, buddy.”

"What can I say? I don’t ever wanna be without you," Ze teased, and that was way, way too much for Anthony.

"Maybe I’ll just drag you up to heaven with me," he said.

"Or maybe we’ll be ghosts together for the rest of eternity," Steven suggested, and Chilled could hear him closing his car door.

Anthony smiled, thinking of an eternity with Steven. “Yeah, maybe.”

 

+5

Steven arrived just when he said he would, and Anthony had rushed outside to help him bring his stuff in as soon as his car had pulled up. Chilled had wanted Ze to help him with the tree as soon as he got there, but he’d been way too tired and had barely been able to make it to the room Chilled had set up for him before he’d passed out and proceeded to sleep for nearly twelve hours.

A full two days after Steven arrived, the two were finally up at the same time, so Anthony took the opportunity to force Ze to help him with decorating the tree.

They fucked around a lot so it took longer than it should have, but when they were finally done the tree looked pretty damn amazing, in their opinion. They hung out on the couch and stared at it for hours, making idle conversation and really just enjoying each other’s company.

"So, Chilly Willy, what’s up with all these ridiculous sweaters?" Steven asked at one point, tugging on the sleeve of his best friend’s current tie-dyed Christmas atrocity. "I love you and all, but they’re terrible."

Anthony smiled down at the green and red mess, saying, “Well, when I was younger, it was a tradition in my family to get someone you loved the ugliest sweater you could find. Sometimes we drew names to see who got a sweater for who, but a lot of the time we just ended up with a bunch of ugly-ass sweaters that, most of the time, were way, way too big.”

Ze wore a matching smile on his face, and then it faded a bit as he asked, “Someone you loved?”

Chilled’s smile slipped, and then it was gone entirely, replaced with a sad, wistful look. “I gave, uh, her one last year, but she said she didn’t want it. I guess that was a sign that it wouldn’t work out.”

"Maybe it’s for the best. I mean, I don’t wanna belittle your relationship or anything, but if she wouldn’t accept the sweater, especially if she knew what it meant, then I think it’s better that you’re done now instead of later," Steven said, hoping he wasn’t overstepping.

Anthony looked over at him, smiling softly. “I think so too, bud.”

 

-1

Christmas morning found Anthony waking Steven up like an excited little kid, squealing about how “it’s Christmas, it’s Christmas, wake up!” and Steven getting dragged into the little living room with its little tree and being sat down and having a box thrown on his lap. Anthony grabbed the box Ze had set under the tree the night before and held onto it, staring at Steven in anticipation.

"Do you wanna open your present first?" Chilled asked, grinning widely.

Ze shook his head, smiling blearily and trying to make himself be more alert. “You go ahead, Chilly Willy.”

Anthony nodded happily and looked down at the box. “To Chilly Willy, from Zeenie Weenie?” he raised an eyebrow at Steven. “Since when are you Zeenie Weenie?”

Steven rolled his eyes, feeling more awake. “Just open the present, Chilly Willy.”

Chilled shrugged and tore into the wrapping paper, careful to keep the label intact so he could tease Ze about it later. He opened up the box and grinned at its contents. “Aw, Stevie, this is adorable,” he cooed as he pulled out the little ZeRoyalViking plushie. “Look at your little helmet and your little axe. I’m gonna keep this in my bed and sleep with it every night.”

Ze chuckled and poked the little version of himself in the tummy. “I honestly couldn’t think of anything to give you, but then I remember what I’d said earlier, that ‘I’d be your present this year’ and it just seemed so obvious.”

Anthony turned his blinding smile on Steven and wiggled his eyebrows. “Are you telling me to have incest Christmas with the tiny you? Ze, you dog.”

Steven scoffed and pushed at Anthony’s shoulder. “Whatever, let’s move on from the horrifying concept of you fucking that plushie. I wanna see what you got me.”

Chilled watched him open his gift nervously, hoping it’d be well-received. He was starting to regret what he’d gotten, and part of him wanted to snatch the present away and give him something else instead. It was too late, though, because Ze was opening up the box and looking into it.

Everything froze for a moment. Anthony’s breath caught in his throat as Steven’s eyes widened, and neither of them moved a muscle. After a long moment, Ze broke the stillness by reaching into the box and pulling out the hideous sweater, and the implications of it sunk in.

Steven didn’t look at Anthony, but Anthony couldn’t look away. No-one said anything, but after what felt like an eternity, Ze simply pulled the sweater on and smiled affectionately up at Chilled.

"I love it, Anthony," Steven said, and Chilled felt the weight on his chest vanish so fast that he was floating.

Anthony grinned back at Steven, relief and joy spilling into his words as he breathed, “I hoped you would.”

There they sat for a long while, just smiling at each other like the two idiots in love they were, one clutching onto a miniature version of the love of his life, and the other with his hands hidden by the giant, disgustingly obnoxious Christmas sweater given to him by the man he wanted to spend an eternity with, even long after they both died and were just two ghosts floating around with each other forever.


End file.
